RSS

Rainy days & Mommas (Mother’s Day 2011)

It was raining so hard yesterday, I lay down beside you and instantly fell asleep.

How could I not?

I’m wrapped around the warm and comforting embrace of my Mama dear… one of my real-life superheroes.

 I love you, Mama.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

No matter how old we get… we will always be little babies in our mother’s arms.

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers!

You are Heaven-sent! Cheers for doing a great job! 🙂

Photo source: The World Wide Web

 
2 Comments

Posted by on May 9, 2011 in Pamilya, Personal

 

Someday… One day

“I’d call you again.” said the voice on the other end.

That was more than a year ago, 436 days to be exact (go do the math!), since the last time we’ve talked, or you called, I should say. Just that… you said you’d call again. It was enough to inspire me the entire day. I waited. A day has passed but you still haven’t called. After several days, I was still waiting. I waited and waited and waited and waited like the waves reaching untiringly for the shore every single moment of the day.

I even tried to get in touch with you but to no avail.

Days went by like an abyss that pulled me deep into the sea of uncertainty. I heard nothing from you and bit by bit, I lost sight of the shore leaving me like a raft in the middle of an ocean, drifting… wrecked and lost.

Why?

Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you even bother to say goodbye? It could have been the dot that ended whatever it is that we have started. It could have been a compass that guided me to a new direction. It could have saved me from the excruciating battle between expecting and forgetting.

Now, more than a year has passed, I’m no longer expecting you would still call and I have chosen to forget, no, not the beautiful and sweet memories with you but the unbearable pain of a shattered spirit that even counting the tears that fell was useless because it’s immeasurable as the water in the sea.

But it doesn’t matter now because I have accepted that things happen for a reason. Maybe saying goodbye to each other is not meant to happen (yet). Who knows, maybe one day, we’ll bump into each other again. I don’t know, but there’s one thing I am sure of… I can never deny the fact that you have been and will always be a wonderful part of my life’s journey. I can only be grateful to God for that.

As my heart is now calmed by the sight of the lighthouse, I know one day when our paths cross again, I can surely say to you that I am still that someone you considered friend.

Thank you, Yab… Sleepy Head!

Photo Source: The World Wide Web

 
4 Comments

Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Balik-tanaw, Pag-ibig, Pagkakaibigan, Personal

 

Unadulterated Sweetness

 

Feb 14, Araw ng mga Puso… kaliwa’t kanan ang mga may dalang bugkos ng kulay dugong mga rosas, ang mga magsing-irog na HHWW, halos lahat ng taong nakakasalubong ko ay nakangiti at punong-puno ng L-O-V-E, ang mga motel na nadaanan ko sa StopNshop at sa EDSA-Pasay big time ang mga promo pero wag ka me nakita akong grupo ng mga matitikas na kalalakihan na nakatayo sa harap nito at may hawak na mga placards na ang makasulat ay: “SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS A SIN” (hmmm, me mga tinamaan kaya?) at ang sigaw naman ng mga single sa FB ay “Today is SAD!” (as in Single’s Awareness Day).

Parang isang dosenang langgam ang kumagat sa akin, nakakakilig naman kasi ang pag-express ng sweetness ng mga mga tao sa kanilang mga ‘significant other’. Me nakita akong guy na nakatayo sa tapat ng gate ng Jose Reyes Hospital sa ilalim ng kainitan ng sikat ng araw sa may dalang bulaklak at nakailang silip na sa gate, mukhang susurpresahin nya ang SO nya na palabas mula sa isang nakakapagod na duty. Meron namang gumawa ng makatunaw-pusong note tulad nalang ng SO ni Astroboy. Meron ding nabigay ng isang pulutong ng maliliit na bears na me hawak na mga letra na kapag binuo mo ay may nakasulat na I-HEART-YOU, ___! Iba’t-ibang paraan ng pagpapahayag ng pag-ibig, kanya-kanyang gimik para mapasaya ang kabiyak pero pano naman kung tapos na ang Araw ng mga Puso, sweet pa rin kaya sila sa isa’t-isa? (Wala lang pambasag trip lang na tanong mula sa isang single, hehe!)

Speaking of sweetness, bigla ko tuloy naalala nung minsang nakatanggap ako ng bulaklak sa kauna-una at kahuli-hulihang (?) pagkakataon…

Hulyo, taong 2006. (Bagong- bago no?) Mula sa trabaho, naisipan kong pumunta sa Elbi para dalawin ang kaibigang katatapos lang magbirthday, tamang-tama rin naman at Miyerkules, makakapagsimba at novena na din ako sa St. Therese Chapel. As usual pumuwesto ako sa paborito kong spot sa chapel simula pa nung istupidyante pa ko sa Elbi, dun sa upuang bato sa malapit sa may Adoration Chapel. Comfort zone ko yun kasi bukod sa malimit akong late dumating e madali rin makaeskapo kapag tapos na ang misa plus maganda ang view para makita ang crush (es). Hehehe.

Pagkatapos ng misa, tulad ng dati, tumuloy ako sa Adoration chapel. Yun ang totong comfort zone ko at ng mga estudyanteng tulad ko rin ay ramdam ang Newton’s Law of Gravity dahil nanganganib na bumagsak sa Chem 40, Math 11; ng mga estudyanteng Professor si Climax; mga broken-hearted pati na rin ng mga gustong magka-SO; at syempre, ng mga magbo-board exams.

Paglabas ko mula sa katahimikan ng Adoration Chapel, dinumog ako ng sandamukal na ‘sampaguita girls and boys’ at pinipilit akong bumili ng paninda nilang… sampaguita (op kors!). E kaso, hindi ko gawain ang mag-alay ng bulaklak sa Poon kaya humingi ako ng pasensya. Pero may isang batang babaeng sobrang kulit at mapilit, bilhin ko na raw yung tinda nya para may pambaon sya kinabukasan pagpasok sa eskwela. May sa Cory (hindi kabayanihan kundi kakuri-putan) ako e kaya hindi pa rin ako bumili. Para di maubos ang pasensya ko, naisipan kong maglakad-lakad na muna sa Grove bago dumerecho sa LB Square kung saan kami magdi-dinner ng kaibigan ko.

Habang nakatayo ako sa LB Square, me biglang kumalabit sa akin. Paglingon ko, “What?! Ikaw na naman?!”, sambit ko. Si Sampaguita girl! “Sige na po, bilhin nyo na po ang sampaguita ko para makauwi na po ako.” ang sabi nya. Napatingin ako bigla sa relo ko. Aba, alas-7 na pala wala pa rin ang kaibigan ko. Patuloy pa rin sa pangungulit si Sampaguita girl. At dahil nasa alert level na ang patience meter ko, binili ko ng lahat ng tinda nyang sampaguita. 50 pesos para sa limang pirasong kwintas ng sampaguita. Abot-tenga ang ngiti niya habang inaabot ko ang pera sa kanya. Kung sya nakangiti ako kunot ang noo at nag-iisip kung ano naman ba ang gagawin ko sa mga bulaklak na binili ko? Sinilid ko sa backpack ang mga bulaklak sabay tingin sa malayo. Ayun at natatanaw ko na rin sa wakas ang kaibigan ko sa kabilang dulo ng kalsada. Hay, salamat.

Habang hinihintay kong makarating sa kinatatayuan ko ang kaibigan ko, me biglang na namang kumalabit sa akin. Paglingon ko, “What?! Ikaw nanam….?” Bago pa ko makulitan at bago ko pa matapos ang dapat kong sabihin, tumambad sa harap ko ang 3 maliliit na bulaklak na bagong pitas mula sa isa sa mga flower box sa harap ng LB Square. “Para po sa inyo.”, ani Sampaguita girl, kasama nito ang isang napakatamis na ngiti sabay talikod at patalun-talong tumatakbo papalayo ngunit bago pa sya tutuluyang mawala sa paningin ko, lumingon sya ng bahagya sa direksyon ko at muli, isang masayang ngiti at kaway ang pinabaon nya sa akin. Sinuklian ko ito ng ngiti at itinaas ko ng bahagya ang aking kanang kamay, hawak ang mga bulaklak na bigay nya at pabulong na binigkas ang salitang…“Salamat!”

Parang segment sa isang pelikula ang dating. Biglang, “Uy, Chicken Feet!” Huh?! Ang kaibigan ko nasa tabi ko na pala. Panira ng moment! 😀

Inipit ko sa wallet yung mga bulaklak na binigay ni Sampaguita girl kaso nagkalasug-lasog na ito sa sobrang kalumaan. Nadurog man ng panahon ang mga bulaklak mananatili pa ring nakaukit sa aking puso at isip ang isang pangyayaring patuloy na magpapaalala ng tamis ng isang unadulterated sweetness.

Yaman din lamang na wala akong regalo para sa kaibigan ko— ginawa ko na lang birthday gift sa kanya yung 5 kwintas ng sampaguita. 🙂

Photo Source: The World Wide Web

 
 

next page…

Wow! I missed my hide-out! Maybe you guys are wondering whether or not I lost my ideas or my drive for writing. No, its just that there are some things that keep me away from doing it lately.

This is just some of them…

..oOo..

😀 Hmmm, Parang may kulang?!!! 😀

 

..oOo..

After finishing my Masters Degree in June, I was so excited because at last! I now have the pleasure of doing the things I missed doing like traveling on long weekends, kite flying by the beach, stargazing, signing up in a photography class, catching up with friends, watching DVDs at home or reading the books I bought a long time ago which I haven’t flipped not a single page. 😦

My ‘to-do’ list is infinite but the excitement was suddenly bent because weeks after I took the comprehensive exam, my boss asked me to pursue further training on a field only few dare set foot on… FIELD  EPIDEMIOLOGY.

She must be kidding! But apparently, she’s NOT! For days, I thought of a hundred and one reasons to say no because I don’t think I deserve to be on that ground.

One day, upon seeing and maybe feeling I was unsure about what I am getting myself into, an officemate told me, “You know, you should always welcome change because you just don’t know how much opportunities it can open up for you! Grab every opportunity while you are still young. You have to listen to our boss, she has a better view from the top.”

With those seemingly encouraging words in mind plus my family’s advice and support, I finally let go and uttered my sweetest “YES!” Yes, I took the challenge and the opportunity glued to it (I hope!) and eventhough it means leaving my mother unit for two years and spending time in a new workplace for the training.

Equipped with my stock stuck knowledge, a little experience, a lot of guts and gazillion of prayers, I went out of my comfort room zone and headed into the ‘war zone’.

It has been almost 4 months since I went into the war zone. (20 more grueling months to go!) I realized that it’s  more than just learning the ropes of Field Epidemiology , it’s also a road to self- discovery because…

I have to rip off my present being to face my fear of the huge unknown.

To bore a hole in my heart so I can see the depth of its strength,

so I can understand the boundaries of its existence,

so I can learn how to LOVE what I so HATE.

It may seem crazy.

It is.

For the sake of keeping the nation’s wealth… PUBLIC HEALTH.

🙂

..oOo.. 

The next pages of my life will be devoted in finding answers to  questions epidemiologists often ask:

Who, What, When, Where, Why and How

..oOo.. 

Field Epi is a challenge and a blessing.

A challenge I can’t do all by myself that is why I’m facing it with God and I need His grace every single step of the way.

A blessing that made me realize how thankful I should be for having a very supportive and loving family, good friends and encouraging mentors from my mother unit.

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 10, 2010 in Buhay-buhay, Makibaka, Personal

 

sigh…

No, this post has nothing to do with the results of the elections or even the weather.

This is about me.

I feel sad.

I thought I might have blown things up.

Was it because of something that I’ve said/written or something I did? Am I too assuming? Was I arrogant? Did I ever go overboard; too much that I scared you away?

Maybe. Maybe not.

I don’t know.

But if I did, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it.

Don’t worry. For now, I would keep my distance, if that will be quite a relief for you.

Yet I’m hoping one day, you will still have a room for a second chance for us to know each other more and be good friends.

Who knows?

—-

P. S.

I haven’t told you this but I thought maybe you should know that seeing you smile is like enjoying ice cream under the heat of the sun.

 
27 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2010 in Buhay-buhay, Pag-ibig, Pagkakaibigan

 

my perfect fan

i may not be famous,

i may only have a spoonful of friends in my facebook account, and

i  may not have a lot of followers in this page and not even one on twitter,

BUT

i do have a perfect fan who claps in my simplest achievement (cleaning my room), who is always excited to tell stories about me to her friends (i hate it when she does this), who collects pictures of me since day 1 of my life until this very day and brings it with her everywhere she goes, who screams in so much laughter even with my corniest jokes, who loves to read my raw works which i often left unknowingly in between the pages of the books i read, who sees me beyond my imperfections and loves me even more….

my perfect fan, my ever- loving MAMA!

I can never thank her enough for all the love and sacrifices she has to endure for the family!

this song is for her.

The Perfect Fan 

It takes a lot to know what is love

It’s not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of prayers to get me through
And there is never a day that passes by
I don’t think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed

[Chorus:]
You showed me
When I was young just how to grow
You showed me
Everything that I should know
You showed me
Just how to walk without your hands
Cuz mom you always were
The perfect fan

God has been so good
Blessing me with a family
Who did all they could
And I’ve had many years of grace
And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what you’ve done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son

[Chorus]

You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And you showed me that you would always be there
I wanna thank you for that time
And I’m proud to say you’re mine

[Chorus]

Cuz mom you always were,
Mom you always were
Mom you always were,
You know you always were
Cuz mom you always were… the perfect fan

I love you Mom

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOUR MOMS AND ALL THE MOMS AND SOON-TO-BE MOMS OUT THERE!!!

Video Source: YouTube

 
2 Comments

Posted by on May 9, 2010 in Buhay-buhay, Personal

 

“I see you.”

Luxury sa akin ang manood ng sine at kahit sa DVD.

Kalimitan nakakapanood lang ako sa bus, tuwing nagbiyahe ako papapunta kung saan-saan. Pero minsan mas gusto ko pang matulog na lang kesa manood.

Ang huli kong napanood sa bus ay yung ‘Little Big Soldier’ ni Jackie Chan. Kwentong digmaaan tungkol sa isang simpleng mandirigmang nakahuli ng isang general na ang pakay nya sa paghuli ay para magkareward at maexempt na sa military service. Maganda, nakakatuwa, maaksyon at xempre nandun pa rin yung Jackie Chan na nakakatawa pero kalungkot yung ending, ang tragic kasi. Namatay si Jackie Chan sa pelikula!

 

 

Kanina (pagkagaling ko Mt. Olympus) nakahanap ako ng oras para manood sa DVD. Marami akong pinagpilian… isa na doon ang Iron Man 1. Gusto ko sanang mapanood ulit ang IM1 kasi malay ko baka sakaling mapanood ko yung Iron Man 2. E di madali kong marerelate yung 2 sa 1.

Pero nakatawag- pansin sa akin yung DVD na may mukha ng kulay asul na alien, ang AVATAR. Napanood ko na ‘to sa bus kaso di ko matapos- tapos kasi bago pa ang ending e nakakarating na ko sa lugar na bababaan ko. Para matapos na ang kwentong bitin, pinanood ko na ito with matching Boy Bawang at isang mug ng ice- cold Coke. (Ahhh! Sarap!)

 

Buong akala ko marerelax ako sa pelikulang ‘to pero BADTRIP ako nung mapanood ko. Di kasi ako umiiyak sa mga pelikula, pero kanina feeling ko isa ako sa mga Na’vi. Naiinis ako sa mga tao dun sa kwento. Totoo kasi. Minsan akala nating mga tao, alam na natin ang lahat sa mundo at nasa kamay na natin ang mga desisyon. Habang tumatalino ang tao, unti- unti nawawala ang respeto nya… sa kapwa, sa kalikasan at sa lahat ng bagay na may buhay. May ibang naghahari-harian at nagdudunung- dunungan sa mundong akala nya ay pag-aari nya. Umaabuso na din talaga ang mga tao. Wag na tyong lumayo pa, tingnan na lang natin ang mga nangyayari sa atin dito sa Pilipinas.

Ano na nga ba ang mahalaga sa tao ngayon? Power? Pera? Materyal na bagay? Kasikatan?

Nakakalungkot isiping may mga iba sa atin na nabubulag at tuluyan ng nagpalamon sa magnet ng kamunduhan.

Pero pwede pa namang magbago. Sana lang hindi pa huli ang lahat para sa atin. Sana.

Photo Source: The World Wide Web

 
8 Comments

Posted by on May 1, 2010 in Buhay-buhay, Sining